“The Meltdown”

I’m pretty sure there is a huge, invisible vice squeezing my head.  In fact, I believe it’s been on there for about a week now.  What makes it even worse is that someone or something is t-w-i-s-t-i-n-g  it tighter and tighter each day!  It’s getting to the point where I am getting a bit . . . should I say . . . irritable? 

Which might explain the fact that I had a bit of a meltdown this past Saturday.  It started out as a pretty good day.  Hubby and I got up and went garage sale-ing, got some great bargains (6 pairs of jeans, 6 pairs of shorts, and about 10 shirts for Todd – all for about $20!), and enjoyed our morning together.  Next thing I know, just as he was heading out the door to go help a friend, I’m blubbering like an idiot about how stressed I am at work, how tired I am of housework and laundry, and how much I hate our house!  I know it was the headache that triggered this sudden release of emotion, but my hubby was completely blind-sided by it!  When someone like me -- who is calm, cool, even-keeled -- suddenly falls apart, it takes everyone by surprise!  Including me! 

Actually, a meltdown like this happens once or twice a year.  It can be triggered by just about anything, and I never really know when it’s going to hit.  It can be about anything or nothing at all; because, in actuality, it’s about everything that’ I’ve saved up throughout the year.  Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t hold grudges or “bottle up my emotions”.  I’m not worrying and fretting inside, while putting on a brave face to the world.  I really am a very easy-going kinda gal!  But every 6 – 12 months, I need an “emotional cleansing”!  And it can strike at any moment.

By the way, to set the record straight, I don’t hate our house.  It is, as I’ve mentioned before, a “fixer-upper”, but it’s comfortable, livable, and just the right size.  The yard, the woods, the pears and blueberries are awesome!  I love the privacy and quietness of our setting.  I love my kitchen.  Thanks to the amazing handiwork of my sweet hubby, there’s ample cupboard space, the floors are beautifully tiled, there’s nice new countertops, it’s a bright green color (my fave) – so we’re good there.  Our straight-from-the-50’s PeptoBismol pink bathroom is hideous, but functional.  The bedrooms are small, but who really needs that much room?  All the windows need to be replaced (especially the front window in the living room that has a cardboard panel where one of the panes broke out).  But, all in all, I know these things will be addressed eventually and I can live with things in the mean time. 

However, what I really can’t stand one moment longer – and didn’t even realize until “the meltdown” – is the fact that I’m surrounded by brown!  I like brown.  It’s a pretty color – one of my favorites to wear.  But, hardwood floors, wooden dining room table,  brown leather recliners, tan/brown couch, and (the kicker) dark brown paneled walls!  Blachhh!!  I need paint, brightness, a little color, a little style!!  My husband, of course, loves the paneling.  If I hear, “That’s good-quality paneling!  They don’t make it like that anymore!” one more time, I think I’m going to have a meltdown!!!  

---Wait a minute.  I already did.  And I think I got his attention.  We’re coming up on Memorial Day weekend and are planning to go to Home Depot and get some paint to cover that brown, ridiculous, ugly, good-quality paneling! 

So, what have we learned here?  Not sure about you, but I’ve learned that these unexpected bursts of emotion can be useful!  And, more importantly, I’ve learned that my hubby loves me!  He doesn’t like when I’m unhappy.  All I need to do is tell him what I want.  He’ll do whatever he can to make me feel better.  He’s a good man!