Here We Go Again!

Once upon a time, I was little - and by little, I mean thin.  And I liked it!  It was so much more fun!  I could go shopping, pull something off the rack and just slip it on.  Voila!  Instant awesome!  Now I find myself 20-some years and none-of-your-business-how-many-pounds later -- and it's not so fun. 

I can't blame it on baby weight anymore - my "baby" is 20 years old!  I can't blame it on good, old fashioned good cooking because we don't get home from work until 6:30 or 7:00, so I rarely cook.  I can't even blame it on being too busy to exercise - my current work schedule allows me to be home every morning.  I just love to eat!

But I have a deadline, a goal and a plan. 

• My deadline is October 15 - my son's wedding date.  We're also planning a sister/daughter cruise the day after the wedding.  If that doesn't motivate me, nothing will. 
• My goal is to lose about 50 pounds, to start with.
• My plan is to eat less and exercise.  Seems simple enough, right? 

I'm tired of being fat.  Time to get serious.  Again.  Stay tuned.

Let's Play a Game

Playing games with my sisters and nieces at a Batterbee Girls' Getaway

I grew up in a game-playing family.  Aggravation, Crazy 8's, Yahtzee, Rummikub, Rack-o, Chinese Checkers, Boggle, Rook, Scrabble . . . you name it, we'd play it.  We'd eat supper, clean up the dishes and gather around the kitchen table.  Sometimes it was a big group of us, sometimes just two or three -- but the competition was always fierce!  We played to win!

The summer before my sophmore year of high school, we moved from a quaint little country town in Indiana with a population of about 3,500 to what I, at the time, considered a big city in Michigan.  I realize now that Jackson, Michigan wasn't really a big city, but to a young, shy girl that did not want to leave her comfort zone, it might as well have been New York City.  My older sisters were all married or in college, so the only ones who moved to Jackson were me, my little brother, and Mom and Dad.  Here I was in a new city:  friend-less, sister-less, and extremely shy!  I was very lonely and unhappy.  But, as is often the case, God used this low point in my life to give me one of the best gifts I could have asked for -- I got to know my mom. 

Rummikub in the backyard:  Phyllis (sis), me, Amanda (niece), and Deb (sis).

Mom and I spent the summer playing games; and, while we played, we talked and laughed and shared.  She told me stories about her life growing up, meeting my dad, first starting out in marriage - things I'd never heard before.  Here I was at 15, and I was actually getting to know her.  There had always been so much going on in our house, so many sisters!  Though it was one of the things I loved most about my childhood, it prevented much one-on-one time with Mom.  But now, Dad was at work, my little brother was playing with his new friends, and it was just the two of us.  We played and talked and laughed the summer away.  Before we knew it, I was back in school, meeting people and making friends.  I developed a social life and began babysitting.  I was a busy, teenage girl.  But that summer forever changed our relationship.  We grew very close, and remained that way until the day she died.

So, play games with your kids.  Spend time with them.  Get to know them and let them get to know you.  Have fun.  Laugh and be silly.  It'll change things.

Serendipity • (ser-ən-ˈdi-pə-tē)

-- the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for

When I looked up the word serendipity in the dictionary, I half expected to see a picture of me and my husband next to the the definition.  When we met 28 years ago, we were not seeking each other; and were definitely not seeking love!  However, we found each other -- and it has been a most valuable and agreeable relationship!  I've also heard serendipity defined as a fortunate accident.  Over the years, we've often commented on how fortunate we were to have met each other and how easily we could have missed it.  Just a few minutes here, or a left turn instead of right and we would have missed out on a lifetime together.

It all started with a wave.  My sister, Pam, and I were visiting our cousin, Linda, for the weekend.  The three of us were practicing a special song to sing in our grandfather's church for his retirement service that weekend.  After practice, we ate at McDonald's and were walking across the parking lot to our car when a red pickup truck drove by with three guys in it.  I jokingly said, "This is how you pick up guys", and waved to them.  To this day, I have no idea what posessed me to do that.  It was so out of character!  I was very shy, we were good girls - preacher's daughters.  But, that's all it took.  They started following us!  Oh, no!  Now what?

Before we knew it, we found ourselves at Messenger Lake, with the guys right behind us!  We were actually a little terrified.  We started to turn the car around to leave, but they were already out of their truck and walking straight toward us.  Maybe we'd just say hello for a minute and be on our way.  We locked  all the doors and rolled our windows down about an inch -- just enough to talk, but not enough for them to grab us!  As we talked, they seemed like nice enough boys.  Two of them were brothers, and the other was a friend.  Todd had just gotten home from his first year of college and they were just out "cruising around" this evening.  We told them about being in town to sing at our grandparent's church on Sunday.  To which they replied, "we're church-going boys ourselves"!  Slowly the windows went down just a little more.  They said they were going bowling, would we like to join them?

The rest of that night has played over in my mind many times over the years!  We did end up going bowling with them.  In fact, after bowling, we went to Big Boy for a late snack where we talked and laughed and told jokes for hours - well, Todd told jokes!  He must have told every joke he's ever heard his entire life!  When we finally left the restaurant, we were having so much fun, no one wanted to go home.  So, we went to the park and listened to music and talked and walked.  It was one of those nights you never forget.  We had so much fun! 


From the start, Todd picked me out of the bunch.  In fact, I didn't know it at the time, but he has since told me that when I waved to them at McDonald's, he exclaimed, "I get the red head!"  (That's me!)   In fact, he was so smitten with me, he actually tried to kiss me as we were walking in the park!  "I don't know this boy!  Who does he think he is?  And, more importantly, what does he think I am?!"   These questions flashed through my mind in an instant and it was an automatic response to turn my head as he leaned in for the kiss.  -- Not what he was expecting!  But, ultimately, that was the move that clinched the deal!  He now says, that was the moment he realized I wasn't just another girl.  I wasn't going to be a summer fling.  I was someone he wanted to get to know better.

The rest is history.  We met in May of 1983 and spent the rest of that summer getting to know each other.  Before we knew it, we were in love.  We were married by September of 1984.  It wasn't planned.  It wasn't good timing.  In fact, I know it wasn't even a fortunate accident, or serendipity.  It was Divine Appointment.  It was God's timing.  It was part of a plan that was in place long before we were involved.  

Thank you, Lord, for Your plan for my life.  Thank you for that left turn instead of right, that uncharacteristic wave, and the kiss on my cheek!  

Meet My Friend, Joe

I love coffee.  I like it strong with a little creamer.  Flavored creamer is my favorite, but I'll take plain if that's all that's available.  I've recently discoverd a delicious brand that is by far my new fave.  For those of you who enjoy a good cup, try Godiva Coffee.  It's rich and smooth and delicious!  Ohmygosh, I love it!

Todd and I have dear friends that live just a couple miles down the road and around the corner.  And, quite conveniently, there's a Starbucks right between us!  You can find us all there at least two nights a week.  We visit and laugh and solve all the world's problems over a cup of creamy, hot, flavored, whipped, sprinkled, tall cup of deliciousness! 

I've always liked coffee, but lately it's becoming an obsession.  I want some when I wake up in the morning, I make a big pot when I get to work in the afternoon, and what's better than a hot cup of coffee in the evening with friends, right?  I think about it all day, and dream about it all night. . . . . Well, I would if I could sleep!

Hey, Ma! Come here, please!

If I had a nickel for every time my youngest daughter, Cassie, has yelled out those 5 words, I'd be a rich woman!  "Hey, Ma!  Come here, please!"  She wore me out with those words!  Actually, the words themselves were not the problem - it was the timing.  After a long, exhausting day, supper done, dishes washed, kids bathed and in bed, finally plopping down next to my hubby on the couch to relax for the evening  . . . .  "Hey, Ma!  Come here, please!"   

More often than not, it was just a stall tactic - "I'm thirsty", "I'm scared", "I've got to go potty" - anything to avoid closing her eyes.  I'd get her a drink, turn on the closet light, or let her use the potty and tuck her snugly back in bed.  Back to the living room.  Plop down next to my hubby . . . . "Hey, Ma!  Come here, please!" 

You have got to be kidding me! 

As the years went by, the reasons for her call began to change.  She began to share hurt feelings, funny stories about her day, and questions about religion, boys and the meaning of life.  Secrets were shared in the quietness and darkness of night.  "Hey, Ma!  Come here please!"  became a call I loved to hear.  I cherished those sweet conversations with my baby girl.

As she moved into the teenage years, these moments became even more special to me.  I realized I was blessed that she wanted to talk to me at all - let alone share intimate conversations.  All I heard from other moms of teenage girls were tales of raging hormones, snippy attitudes, and shouts of  "Mother, puh-lease!"  One friend even told me her daughter insisted on being dropped off a block from school so that she wouldn't be seen being dropped off by her mom!  Spending time with your mom was definitely considered "uncool" - and Cassie and I laughed and talked with each other every day.  Of course, we had our share of mother/daughter drama.  I don't think you can live in the same house as a teenage girl and not get caught in her crossfire from time to time!  I'm also not naive enough to believe that she told me everything that was going on in her life.  In fact, I'm quite certain there were things I didn't know - and am glad I didn't know - at the time!  But those 5 little words "Hey, Ma!  Come here, please!" were still called out at night every now and then.  We still shared stories and secrets and made it through the teen years in good shape.

These days, she's a busy working woman, her weekends are spent going out with friends, and I'm often in bed long before she gets home.  The calls of "Hey, Ma!  Come here, please!" are few and far between . . . but they still come every once in awhile.  She still wants to tell me about her day, still wants to ask my opinion.  I hope that never ends.  I hope someday when she's married and has kids of her own, she will call me at the end of her day to tell me a funny story or ask me a question about raising kids or making meatloaf.  And we'll have a sweet conversation until interupted by one of my grandbabies calling out to her, "Hey, Ma!  Come here please!"

Who Am I?

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a wife and a mom.  That's it.  No plans of making great strides in the medical field, no dreams of fame and fortune, no educational aspirations - just a wife and a mom.

I come from a large family, something for which I've always been thankful!   Being the sixth of seven kids, I joined a family already in progress.  Our house was busy, bustling, loud and fun!  "Home" means music blaring from a bedroom, TV on in the living room, kids playing board games at the kitchen table, shouts of "I can't find my shoe!", Mom cooking in the kitchen, and Dad either blocking out all the chaos while reading the newspaper or adding to it by chasing the kids around the house.  It's what I love and it's all I've ever wanted.


Mom and Dad, circa 1979.
She was an amazing rolemodel!

 My early years were spent shadowing Mom.  Because I was the youngest until I turned six, I had time alone with her while the other kids were in school.  I remember spending my days "helping" her cook, clean, fold laundry.  When she embroidered a pillowcase, she would give me one of my dad's hankies and a needle and thread.  I think she spent more time untangling my mess than she did on her own project, but she was teaching me to be a mom even then.  I was learning household chores but, more importantly, I was also learning about taking pride in my work, nurturing others, time management, and patience!      

So, when I met my hubby (an interesting story to be told later), I was ready.  I wanted a husband, kids, the whole sha-bang!  It's what I had been training for my whole life.  There was no question - we would have kids, I would stay home with them, and we'd create a home - busy, bustling, loud and fun!  Although we only had two kids of our own and one we aquired along the way (another story to be told later), I think we succeeded.  We were busy, we had fun, and we had a loving, secure home.



Now I find myself in unfamiliar territory.  Our youngest just turned 20, so we're looking at an empty nest in the next couple years.  I'm not sure I'm ready for that!  However, I'm proud to say we've raised kids that know how to be dads and moms; who will have busy, loud, fun homes with music blaring from a bedroom, TV on in the living room, kids playing board games at the kitchen table, shouts of "I can't find my shoe!", Mom cooking in the kitchen, and Dad either blocking out all the chaos or adding to it!  Then, we can go visit them and join in on all the fun --- and when we're ready, go home to a quiet, peaceful house!

This is who I am.  I am a wife.  I am a mother.  That's enough for me.