~ MOMMY-HOOD ~

Some thoughts from Ma (not an expert, just opinionated):

Nick and his cousin, Brittany, playing in the fireplace ashes.

Patience is a virtue.  Mommy-hood is not for the faint of heart.  It's serious business and can be overwhelming.  Mom's are cooks, maids, laundresses, secretaries, teachers, referees, nurses . . .  So, when the baby's grabbing on your skirt, your toddler is playing in the fireplace ashes, the UPS man is at the door, the washer is out of balance and the phone is ringing - take a breath.  Take it one step at a time.  Remember, it will all get done - and, if it doesn't, that's ok.  Be patient -- with your kids and with yourself.

Respect.  Give it.  Teach it.  Earn it.  Expect it.

 Mom-isms.  Every mom needs at least three "mom phrases" ready at all times.  These are a few of my faves:

• "Are you looking for trouble?  Because, if you're looking, you're going to find it!"
• "Because I said so!"
• "Go to your room and don't come out until you have a smile on your face!"

Need I say more?

Bless our mess.  I am a firm believer in letting kids get dirty.  Let them make messes.  Let them dig in the dirt, make blanket forts in the living room, do crafts at the kitchen table, and help make cookies.  Have fun!  Messes can be cleaned up during nap time or, better yet, use that mess to teach the kids to clean.  Which brings me to my next tip:

Chores - fun for everyone!  When the kids make a mess, they should clean up a mess.  Encouraging them to pick up their toys before bedtime, or letting them "help" load the dishwasher is an important step to teaching them responsibility.  Everyone should help.  Moms have enough to do.

Todd tending one of our many bonfires.  He's a bit of a "pyro"!

Keeping family traditions and making new ones.  We read the Christmas story from Luke 2 before we open gifts.  We do it not only to remind us of the reason we celebrate, but because it's a tradition from our childhood that we're passing on to our kids.  It's important to keep those traditions going.  Just as importantly, make new ones.  One of our newer traditions is family bonfires.  We bought four acres a couple years ago and have been slowly clearing the back woods.  We pile all the brush and have a huge bonfire every couple weeks.  It's a great time to sit and talk and enjoy family and friends.


 Encourage dreams.  I remember when Nick was in 10th grade, he announced he was going to go on a hike across Europe with a couple friends after graduation.  I knew it was unlikely that this trip was really going to materialize.  But, at that time, it was something he believed he was going to do.  He could picture himself on this great adventure and it was exciting.  Instead of, "How do you plan to pay for that?" or "That's never going to happen!", I said, "Wow!  Sounds exciting.  Better get saving!"  I wanted to encourage him to dream big and make big plans.  Even though I didn't believe in that particular adventure, I wanted him to know that I believed in him! 


 Embarrassing questions are no laughing matter.  One of the best things about having kids is the joy and laughter they bring into your life.  They say the funniest things and ask the funniest questions!  However, sometimes those funny questions or statements are very serious to them.  I never wanted to embarrass them and cause them to stop asking questions.  So, I'd stifle the laughter, keep a straight face, and answer as matter-of-factly as I could.  Not always an easy feat!  I'd save up all those funny stories from the day and, that night in bed, Todd and I would share and laugh hysterically.  Kids' dignity remained intact and we got a good laugh - win-win situation.


Consequences and follow-through.  These days, follow-through is not a common practice.  You can't visit a grocery store without hearing at least one mom threaten her child with bodily harm or withholding candy if they don't stop misbehaving, only to give up in frustration or give them the never-ending countdown, "one, two, three, four, four-and-a-half, four-and-three-quarters .  . ."  Before you know it, she's feeding them candy to keep them quiet and the child learned an important lesson:  "Disobey Mom in public and she'll eventually give up and give me the candy just to shut me up."  If you threaten, there must be consequences. 

Hugs, kisses and apologies.  Hug your kids every day.  Cover them in kisses.  Tell them you love them.  Let them know how important they are to you.  Because, you will make mistakes.  You will say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, embarrass them, or hurt them.  Hugs and kisses make up for a lot of mistakes; and, when all else fails, be willing to apologize.