Misunderstood

Some people make friends wherever they go. They make friends at work, at school, at church, even in the waiting room at the doctor's office.  My husband is like that -- everyone loves him!  (Reason number one million why Todd and I are so well-matched -- he's never known a stranger.)  I can count the number of true friends I've had in my lifetime on two hands.  I'm not known for having a warm, loving personality.  In fact, my family teases me that I'm "cold as ice" and unfriendly.  I promise you, I'm a nice person!  The "unfriendly" characterization is not (entirely) true!  The way I see it, there are several reasons for this mis-characterization: 

Our "Game Night" Bunch

Number 1:  I'm naturally shy and reserved, which sometimes translates as cool or aloof.  It's something I've struggled with my whole life.  Conversation and socialization does not come naturally to me.  I have to make a conscious effort to talk to people.  My preference is to just sit and watch, letting others do the talking and socializing.  Of course, that all changes when I really get to know you  -- I can be quite chatty!

Number 2:  I grew up in a large family.  There was always someone to play with or talk to.  I had five older sisters -- friends were optional!  Don't get me wrong, I had friends growing up, but because of my shyness, it took me awhile to make them.  So, when we moved to a new town and I would spend the day at school shy and lonely, I looked forward to the end of the day, when I could walk in the door of my home and be surrounded by love, companionship, and fun!

Sweet old friends, Kim and Tom

Number 3:  I'm not a typical "touchy-feely" kind of girl!  I don't feel the need to share my deepest, darkest fears or the challenges I'm going through.  I don't want to chat on the phone.  In fact, I can go a week sometimes without even thinking to give a friend a call.  I'm a fairly private person, perfectly content to keep things to myself, or share them with my husband or a sister.  That "sappy" confiding stuff -- not my cup of tea! 

Number 4:  I was not blessed with the gift of mercy or empathy.  My theory is, "Suck it up!"  If my family member is truly sick or feeling bad, I can be the doting mom and wife - getting them a drink of water, covering them with a blanket or listening to their heartbreaks.  However, there's a point where enough is enough.  I say, "Suck it up!"  Wallowing in self-pity never helped anyone, and the best way to start feeling better is to get up and get moving!  For that attitude, I've earned the reputation of being "tough" or, in fun (I hope), "mean"!

 

Every girl needs a girlfriend or two!



So, I am very often misunderstood by those who don't really know me.  They don't know what my family and friends know - that beneath this icy exterior I'm just a goof-ball.  They don't know that sometimes I sing at the top of my lungs and dance around the house.  Or that I've been described as a comedian's dream -- no one can make me laugh like my kids and hubby! 

And as for my "tough", no-nonsense attitude?  It's always been tempered by my mission to make our home a loving haven.  Besides, I'm actually getting softer in my old age.  I love my family.  I love my friends.  It takes a little effort to break through, but if you do, I'm a life-long friend, loyal to the end.