What’s Next?!

I went to the eye doctor this week.  It was long overdue.  My eyesight has been getting progressively worse over the last few years.  Although I wore glasses as a child, and contacts in high school and early adult life, somewhere along the way I reached a point where I no longer needed to wear any corrective lenses.  I have enjoyed several years of carefree sight.  However, in the last couple years, I have noticed a steady deterioration.  In fact, it has gotten to the point where I feel I’m taking my life into my own hands every time I get behind the wheel of a car.  But, it’s not just distance sight I’m struggling with.  As much as I hate to admit it, I’ve been struggling with focus issues when reading, too.  Knowing all this, I was still disappointed and totally shocked to hear the doctor ask, “How do you feel about bifocals?” 

Well, let’s see.  How do I feel about bifocals?  First of all, I feel they’re for old people!  I’m sorry, Dr. So-in-so, but you must have read the results wrong.  When, exactly, did I become bifocal material?  Of course, after the initial shock wore off, I realized I’m actually what one would consider “middle-aged”.   It sure happened fast!  But, I’m here.  So, I’d better get used to it.  Time to start preparing for the inevitable.  Which got me thinking:  What’s next?!

• Osteoporosis? I never drink milk – blaaachh!  I don’t take a calcium supplement.  The only calcium I get comes from cheese, ice cream, or yogurt – and I don’t eat much of that.  Are my bones going to get brittle?  Am I going to wake up one morning with a broken hip?   

• 

  Here I am, sporting my new bifocals, deteriorating rapidly!

  Memory loss? This one actually worries me a bit because I’m pretty sure it’s already started!  Did I remember to unplug the curling iron?  We had something planned for May 3rd – what was it again?  Where did I put those sunglasses?  How many times have I forgotten what I was going to say, just seconds before I open my mouth?  Oh, yeah.  I’m a gone-er on this one!
• Dentures?
• Wrinkles?
• Hearing loss? 
• Arthritis?
• Diapers?!

I began obsessing about my deteriorating body and the aches and pains I suddenly felt.  Then there was the fact that I used to get told almost daily how young I looked.  When was the last time I’d heard that?  Awhile.  When and how, exactly, did this happen?  When did I go from a young hottie to a chubby, bifocal-wearing, middle-aged old bag? 

This doctor’s prescription for bifocals really threw me for a loop!  So, I did what I always do.  I immediately called my husband.  He’ll tell me how beautiful and young-looking I still am.  He thinks I’m the bomb-diggety.  Talking with him for awhile will bring everything back into perspective.

However, it didn’t exactly happen like that.  I think Todd’s immediate response was something like, “What?!  Baby, you’re getting old!”  Then he laughed at me!  Not the response I was hoping for; but, before I knew it, he had me laughing, too.  And then, as we were hanging up, he said the best thing he could have said, “Goodbye, grandma!”

Grandma!  Yay!  That’s a good thing!  Something I am definitely looking forward to!  There’s also retirement, travel, Senior Citizen discounts, and being considered “wise”.  All good things.  There will be time to try new recipes, bake decadent desserts, read sappy love stories, and visit with friends.  Getting old ain’t so bad!  This could be fun! 

So, what’s next?!